... Standstill...

I feel as though my life is at a standstill. It is neither regressing or progressing in my opinion, it is just happening. I feel as though everyday is the same, with a few minor differences, but it all basically consists of the same things. Every day (or most days I should say), I workout, I volunteer, I work, I try to give "quality" time to Izzy, and I try to give quality time to myself. But to me it feels like I am doing nothing. When I compare my life to my friend's lives, it's as though mine does not stand up to it. They are doing something meaningful, have real big girl jobs that they have worked hard to get (and have been in one place long enough to get those jobs) or they are mothers. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - volunteering and working part time and all. But I feel as though my life is at a standstill. Maybe that is because Jared isn't here and I have to manage everything and that everything is a lot. It is hard to remember to drive both cars (even though one car is the scary blue beast that can break down AGAIN at any moment), start the motorcycle, PAY THE BILLS!, feed the dog, feed yourself, let the dog out, do the laundry, take care of the yard (why don't people think dead grass is aesthetically pleasing??), clean the house... which a few of these have REALLY been neglected. I guess all of this is why there has been a lul in my posting, I don't feel as though I have anything to say. I can't tell you about my new baby or my upcoming new baby, or my awesome new-I worked so hard for this-job, or even my major accomplishment. Hey, I managed to remember to brush my teeth today! That is an accomplishment in my eyes, a major one, because one day I was late to work because I did forget. I know, that's sad.

I can try to summarize everything I have been up to in the last few months, so here it is:
......Ummm...
- I went to the pumpkin patch with some friends and picked out pumpkins. They were $0.21/lb and I got 5 pumpkins for $10! One of them has already rotted and the neighborhood kids poke at it a little more each day (I know this because there are tiny finger holes in the top).
- I went to a "Pole Fitness" class in Seattle with the gang and we were all sweating 5 minutes into the warm up! Trust me, being a stripper and hanging onto a pole IS NOT easy. We were bruised, sore, and our legs were cut up from our stripper shoes scraping our legs (we had to go all out, so our course we bought our own!) I am glad that I have been working out for a while now, without my new found strength I don't think I would have made it. We are going back for a refresher course very soon. And here is a tip for everyone, NO PORN FEET ;) If you would like to know what that means, give me a buzz.
- The same weekend as stripper class, we went to see Wicked. It was great, but next time I will try to get better seats. Nosebleed section meant we could only see little ant like figures from that far up.
- Oh, I guess I haven't mentioned really that I have a job. I work part time in the afternoons at a real estate/property management office. It is great that I can still volunteer and have time to do the domestic duties and still make money. You know how I feel about money, I LOVE IT!
- I have joined a bowling league. It is an officer spouse's bowling league and I bowl with my friends. We have 2 person teams and I bowl with trusty-dusty-Texan Kendall. Our team name is Pin Pals :) Last week was our first Thursday bowling, it was the day we set our handicaps, but of course I didn't know that or know really what that meant (I should have bowled sucky), but I scored a 115, 89, 105 for our three games. Not so bad, but bad really because I needed to suck! Oh well.

I have done some funny things over the last few months, but they have all slipped my mind.

The only good thing that I have to look forward to is Jared coming home. We are almost to the end and I couldn't be happier. Finally someone to put my cold toes on when nothing will warm them up. Someone else to make dinner and someone to make dinner for! Someone to do the laundry for me and put clothes away (well, it's not like I am really putting clothes away right now. Someone how the piles got mixed up and I can't tell clean from dirty. The smell test is an acceptable way to measure the cleanliness of the clothes right?). I have made banners and signs, thought about my outfit for homecoming, purchased materials to make another banner, thought some more about what I am going to wear :) ... I think I have thought about homecoming atleast once a second in the last couple of months. It overwelms my brain. I can also be set off by thinking about homecoming and have found myself crying profusely over dumb lyrics to songs, thinking about Jared coming home, hearing Jared's name, seeing another blue trailblazer driving down the street, or just thinking about making another meal for myself. Really, anything can make me cry, I just want Jared to come home so I am not so lonely. I think even Izzy has a bit of dog depression. She hasn't been right lately and I don't know what it is. I guess we both have a bit to work on before Jared gets home.

Well, this post is kind of bleak and depressing. Sorry about that. I have just been keeping things inside and trying to manage on my own. It has worked some, but truthfully, it hasn't been all that great.

I hope everyone else is having a blast and is doing very well. Keep updating your blogs so that I may be entertained with your adventurous, amazing, wonderful, funfilled lives!

PS: Just to also let everyone know, we are planning to travel to Virginia for Christmas and we SHOULD have ample time off. If anyone is in the area and would be up for a visit, let me know :)