Sorry to stray from the normal, what's up with my life posts. I have some things swirling in my mind that I need to get out in the open. ( I am not meaning to hurt anyones feelings and if I do I apologize in advance.)
For those of you that know me well you can probably tell I don't have sooo many friends. I would rather have a handful of close friends than to have hundreds of people I call "friends." That's just the way I have always been. The people that I am truly friends with mean a great deal to me. They are close friends of mine for a reason and have supported when in one way or another when I needed the support. I don't mind having aquaintances and there are tons of terrific people out there that I do know, but I am not that close with them. They know me, I know them, we may chat, but I would call them a casual friend or an aquaintance. I think I am this way because I like my friends to feel like my family and I like to have that bond with them. Because I don't have hundreds of friends like many other people do, I have a tendency to think too much about what people think of me. I worry about what people think about me, how people think about me, what I am invited to, what I am not invited to and why, and that is how I think about myself. I try to not let it bother me or get me down, but to be honest I worry most about what other people think of me. There are a lot of people I don't like and I doubt it ruins their day, but knowing that someone doesn't like me ruins mine. (If I don't like them and they don't like me, no problem .... see, it's odd!) I need to figure out a way to worry less about what people think of me and worry more about how I think of me. I need to find that "I don't care" button and turn it on because the more I think about what people think about me the more sad I become about it. I need to stop worrying so much about what other people think, but how do I do that?
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