Where has the time gone?

Tomorrow (Tuesday - the 30th), I will be 36 weeks pregnant.

It seems as though only days ago Jared and I found out we were expecting! We had just gotten home from the commissary, I had a "stomach ache" and couldn't put away groceries. This is highly unusual for me since I have a system to how groceries are put away and even though I know Jared is fully capable, it isn't MY way. The stomach ache I feigned only lasted about three minutes- the amount of time it took for the test to show me the results. PREGNANT. I didn't know whether to run downstairs with excitement or hide the secret until I really knew FOR SURE. No important "appointments" had been missed, it should have been a few more days until a real positive came up, but for some reason I couldn't get it out of my head and heart that I needed to test that day. Looking over the test again and it still saying "pregnant" in it's big ol' you can't mess reading this up digital letters, I decided I had to tell Jared right then. As he was putting away groceries (like the awesome husband he is), I nervously walked up to him and showed him the upside down test. I then threw my arms around him and wouldn't let go. He seemed a little confused/shocked/mildly excited, but he hugged me right back with a strength that let me know THIS TIME was going to be OKAY. The day we found out was already a special day - January 16th is my dad's birthday- but it became even more special when we received a call a few hours later letting us know good friends of ours had just delivered their new baby boy. It was meant to be...

This journey through pregnancy has had its many ups and downs for me. I have shed many tears and expressed many fears, but overall it has been amazing. My expectations were completely tossed in the garbage when nothing went according to the "this is how you should feel book." I was mildly nauseous a few hours out of every day the first couple of months, but by week 14 it was gone. Wasn't I supposed to be throwing up all the time? It's an old wives tale that the sicker you are, the healthier your baby is. I WANTED to be sick!! I thought my stomach was going to grow into this cute little half soccer ball bump, but all I had from the very beginning was a wide load waist. The chubby lasted longer than I wanted and the "bump" finally poked out, but not in the soccer ball look I was hoping for. My cravings have been little to none, except for the filet mignon and baked potatoes I could have eaten EVERY NIGHT! Chicken looked, sounded, and tasted gross... unless it came from Chik-Fil-A or McDonald's. Mmmmmm. I wasn't THAT tired and found it really hard to nap during the day. Wasn't I supposed to be so exhausted I couldn't do anything? The Lifetime movies always made it seem that way! I jumped from small maternity pants to large- completely skipping the mediums- and stayed pretty consistent with Sm/Med tops. I really hate pears... both as a fruit and as a body shape. Grrr. If I do say so myself, I have not been a terrible, hormonal crazy person and have acted quite "normally" through this all. But then again I am comparing myself to Lifetime movies. Despite all of my "opposites of what I am SUPPOSED to be feeling/looking," everything has been going well and Andersen has been healthy (and hopefully happy) at every appointment.

Thinking back over the time that has passed there have been many things I wished I had done differently. I find myself to be in an almost constant state of worry. I have been able to go days, maybe even a week, without checking on Andersen with my stereoscope and think it is such a great accomplishment. When in reality, normal people don't check on their baby with a stethoscope or get worked up about their appointments not being on the consistent timeline as other people that are also pregnant that they know. I have microwaved many steaks thinking they weren't dead enough (oh they were dead all right!) and have stayed away from lunch meats (my favorite thing is to have a smoooshed sandwich) because of the possibility of contamination. I wish I could have and would have relaxed more... I think that is my goal for the next four weeks... well, once I get that dag-on room finished! (Thursday!! It WILL be finished Thursday!!) I wish Jared could have been here to feel Andersen's first hard kick and squirm as he switched sides in my belly. I am happy though that he has gotten to see the "alien movement" over Skype. I wish Jared was here to take maternity pictures with so we would have the cute couple and a baby bump photo. I would have wished for a lot of things, but we are a military family. If we waited for a plan to be given to us, we would still be waiting. I should put my wishing away and be happy I am still doing so well ... I know it is not over just yet- I think I have been cut some slack because someone knew I couldn't take too much this go around...

I really hope Andersen knows already how much he is loved and how wonderful it has been to carry him thus far. I have enjoyed feeling his kicks, punches, and hiccups even when he has hurt my ribs, taken my breath away, and made my tummy feel funny. I hope he also knows that I am not as crazy as I sound and that even though his dad has missed out on his in-utero development, he will be there when it really matters. Here's to the last four weeks and delivering this baby as best I can!

I hope my belly button goes back to normal... that's how babies get out, RiGhT???